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We live in a world of too much information and too little context. Too much noise and too little insight. Nandoo Gyaan breaks through the bakwaas and gives you the real deal every AM.
We promise we will:
…. Bakwas-free news, in 5 minutes or less, to start your day!
Check out some of our previous GYAAN below and download our app to get even more!
We live in a world of too much information and too little context. Too much noise and too little insight. Nandoo Gyaan breaks through the bakwaas and gives you the real deal every AM.
We promise we will:
- Not tell you what Taimur did today
- Not bombard you with offers to buy same stuff that you already have
- And definitely no Bollywood!
…. Bakwas-free news, in 5 minutes or less, to start your day!
Check out some of our previous GYAAN below and download our app to get even more!
Gyaan Archive:
April 15th: Who is buying the World's garbage & why?
Just 15 miles outside Beijing – there is a building 8 to 12 floors tall. Height wise it is like all buildings but construction wise it is different – its made of piles and piles of garbage (okay fine that was our filmy way of saying there is a shit ton of garbage outside Beijing which is in a super duper tall pile!)
Thanks to this garbage, nearly 160,000 citizens of the city are employed – they collect, sort and resell the city’s 25 thousand ton of garbage a day. This garbage consists of Chinese stuff but also garbage from Germany, UK, US, etc. WHY? Because China has been buying the world’s garbage for decades. Since 1988, it has imported almost 50% of ALL the plastic waste.
So why is China buying all the garbage up?
It all comes back to SHIPPING CONTAINERS – if you are a regular Nandoo-er, you will know the story behind shipping containers and how because of them price of a banana is almost the same in India & US. (if you haven’t read that GYAAN yet, check it out here). Anyway, China is the number one source of imports to US every week 100s of container ships make their way from a port in China (e.g. HK, Shanghai) towards American West Coast (i.e. SF) They deliver cars, sofa, etc. but the US does not send a lot back and in order to avoid containers coming back empty, China asks the US to put their recyclable garbage in it and send the containers back. This of course for a fee which the US happily pays and this way China makes its shipping containers usage very efficient.
Reason China is so interested in collecting garbage is because they have a high demand for raw materials. And since labor is cheap (given the population), sorting through garbage to find recyclable items which can be used to make electronics or other products is actually a good deal for them – another way they can keep prices of the items they sell so low. This is such a profitable business that a lady by the name of Zhang Yin has been nicknamed the Queen of Garbage is one of world’s richest women – her net worth is higher than that of Zara's co-founder’s!
Sounds like everything is going rosy …umm stinky?!
Kinda - It worked so well that everyone just assumed that this would go on forever. But then in 2017, China announced that, starting 2020, it is not going to collect and buy the world’s garbage because it now has its own garbage to deal with. Plus, now that it is an actual super power, collecting other people’s garbage doesn’t jive well with its image.
Many countries will have no place to put their own garbage. Ireland, which exports 95% of its garbage to China faces a near crisis. Vietnam, Philippines, Indonesia have proclaimed that they will be open to accepting but given how tiny these countries are, they will eventually run out of space as well.
Guess we just have to wait it out for Elon Musk to build his spacecraft and transport us all out to Mars. Ek Mahal ho Sapno Ka….per Mars pe!
We came across two interesting facts while researching this article:
Thanks to this garbage, nearly 160,000 citizens of the city are employed – they collect, sort and resell the city’s 25 thousand ton of garbage a day. This garbage consists of Chinese stuff but also garbage from Germany, UK, US, etc. WHY? Because China has been buying the world’s garbage for decades. Since 1988, it has imported almost 50% of ALL the plastic waste.
So why is China buying all the garbage up?
It all comes back to SHIPPING CONTAINERS – if you are a regular Nandoo-er, you will know the story behind shipping containers and how because of them price of a banana is almost the same in India & US. (if you haven’t read that GYAAN yet, check it out here). Anyway, China is the number one source of imports to US every week 100s of container ships make their way from a port in China (e.g. HK, Shanghai) towards American West Coast (i.e. SF) They deliver cars, sofa, etc. but the US does not send a lot back and in order to avoid containers coming back empty, China asks the US to put their recyclable garbage in it and send the containers back. This of course for a fee which the US happily pays and this way China makes its shipping containers usage very efficient.
Reason China is so interested in collecting garbage is because they have a high demand for raw materials. And since labor is cheap (given the population), sorting through garbage to find recyclable items which can be used to make electronics or other products is actually a good deal for them – another way they can keep prices of the items they sell so low. This is such a profitable business that a lady by the name of Zhang Yin has been nicknamed the Queen of Garbage is one of world’s richest women – her net worth is higher than that of Zara's co-founder’s!
Sounds like everything is going rosy …umm stinky?!
Kinda - It worked so well that everyone just assumed that this would go on forever. But then in 2017, China announced that, starting 2020, it is not going to collect and buy the world’s garbage because it now has its own garbage to deal with. Plus, now that it is an actual super power, collecting other people’s garbage doesn’t jive well with its image.
Many countries will have no place to put their own garbage. Ireland, which exports 95% of its garbage to China faces a near crisis. Vietnam, Philippines, Indonesia have proclaimed that they will be open to accepting but given how tiny these countries are, they will eventually run out of space as well.
Guess we just have to wait it out for Elon Musk to build his spacecraft and transport us all out to Mars. Ek Mahal ho Sapno Ka….per Mars pe!
We came across two interesting facts while researching this article:
- Americans make up 4% of world population but they produce around 25% of world’s garbage.
- Packaging from Amazon boxes makes up about 1/3rd of the total garbage
April 14th: Payday loans explained
Today’s Gyaan is a bit about financial literacy. Over the few months that we have been around, we have received tremendous love & support from you all – our amazing Nandoo-ers. We have started thinking of you as family and so, like a family takes care of one another, we want to do the same for you – take care of you by highlighting & discussing a new financial product that has been recently introduced in India – Payday loans
Nandoo, bus kar yaar, enough with the senti-stuff! Now tell me what a Payday loan is!
Payday loans are short-term but super duper high interest loans. A typical example for applying for payday loans is when you don’t have enough money coming in but need to pay for expenses right away– like let’s say you need to pay rent in 5 days but your salary doesn’t kick in till 25 days and you don’t have enough savings.
There are 2 criteria that you need to meet to get a payday loan:
Hmmmm, but to me it looks like they are helping out someone in need, I don’t see the issue with Payday loans yet
Well let us run a scenario for you – Rahul loves Simran but has found out that her Bauji is taking her to Punjab to get married. Rahul, because he is a lafanga, does not have the money to buy a plane ticket to Punjab – so he goes to a Payday loan provider and shows his income from posting IG posts as his income. Here is the exchange that takes place:
Rahul: Hi, my name is Rahul, I am an IG model and that’s how I make money – see here all my monies. I need Rs. 10,000 to buy a one-way ticket to Punjab to stop the love of my life from getting married
Lender: Woah sounds serious. My name is Kiran and I am more than happy to give you Rs. 10,000 for your ticket to Punjab – although I must say that’s a lot of money for a one way domestic flight, but your call! Anyway all you have to do is pay me Rs. 1,500 in fees to apply for this Payday loan and quickly sign these 500 pages that you don’t need to read through.
Rahul: Kkkkkkkkkirannn (sorry don’t know why I did that!) here’s Rs.1,500 from the very little money I already have and here is my autograph
End of Scene 1 : Rahul gets his money, goes to Punjab, tries to be cute, dances, eats, fights and finally gets Simran – all of this takes around 2 weeks (yeah he is soo charming that Bauji, who had nothing but nafrat for him, finally gives in!)
Start of Scene 2: Rahul moves in with Simran and is super happy with his life with her. But uh oh, gets a notification that Rs. 1,500 have been deducted from his bank account. He panics and calls the Kiran:
Rahul: Kkkkkkkkkirannn (I NEED to stop doing that!) I just got charged Rs. 1,500 from you guys. I thought my loan was due in 30 days – like all other loans. What’s going on boo?
Kiran: Oh my bad, guess you should have read the 500 pages which you signed – essentially a payday loan is different – our term limit is not 30 days but 20 days – i.e. you gotta pay up your loan in 20 days OR else, we will charge you a fee to renew your loan and extend the loan out
Rahul: hold up, you are telling me, this Rs. 1,500 charge I got is not even to repay the loan?! It’s just a fee to renew the loan for the next term of 20 days?
Kiran: Yup, that’s exactly right and exactly what I said – unless you like to repeat things people say!
Rahul: Ffffffiiishhhh my money doesn’t come in for another 20 days, how much will I have to pay you by then?
Kiran: Well, let’s see, the interest on the loan is 1% per day (yeah you really should have read the documents) and from the time you got the loan till you pay up, it would be been 40 days so that comes to:
So what is the moral of this?
I know we sound like your parents/ grandparents when we say this but always stay within your means - don’t ever sign up for a PayDay loan unless there is an absolute emergency – like a surgery or something related to hospitals. Many folks take payday loans to finance a vacation or buy sh*t they don’t need.
And if you ever end up taking a PayDay loan, please please please make sure to read ALL the terms and conditions and get all questions answered. At least you will be mentally prepared
If you are interested in all the research around Payday loans, read this super interesting research here
Nandoo, bus kar yaar, enough with the senti-stuff! Now tell me what a Payday loan is!
Payday loans are short-term but super duper high interest loans. A typical example for applying for payday loans is when you don’t have enough money coming in but need to pay for expenses right away– like let’s say you need to pay rent in 5 days but your salary doesn’t kick in till 25 days and you don’t have enough savings.
There are 2 criteria that you need to meet to get a payday loan:
- You need to have a job – doesn’t matter what type, as long as you have money coming in
- You need to be breathing – they don’t extend the loans to zombies, atleast not yet…
Hmmmm, but to me it looks like they are helping out someone in need, I don’t see the issue with Payday loans yet
Well let us run a scenario for you – Rahul loves Simran but has found out that her Bauji is taking her to Punjab to get married. Rahul, because he is a lafanga, does not have the money to buy a plane ticket to Punjab – so he goes to a Payday loan provider and shows his income from posting IG posts as his income. Here is the exchange that takes place:
Rahul: Hi, my name is Rahul, I am an IG model and that’s how I make money – see here all my monies. I need Rs. 10,000 to buy a one-way ticket to Punjab to stop the love of my life from getting married
Lender: Woah sounds serious. My name is Kiran and I am more than happy to give you Rs. 10,000 for your ticket to Punjab – although I must say that’s a lot of money for a one way domestic flight, but your call! Anyway all you have to do is pay me Rs. 1,500 in fees to apply for this Payday loan and quickly sign these 500 pages that you don’t need to read through.
Rahul: Kkkkkkkkkirannn (sorry don’t know why I did that!) here’s Rs.1,500 from the very little money I already have and here is my autograph
End of Scene 1 : Rahul gets his money, goes to Punjab, tries to be cute, dances, eats, fights and finally gets Simran – all of this takes around 2 weeks (yeah he is soo charming that Bauji, who had nothing but nafrat for him, finally gives in!)
Start of Scene 2: Rahul moves in with Simran and is super happy with his life with her. But uh oh, gets a notification that Rs. 1,500 have been deducted from his bank account. He panics and calls the Kiran:
Rahul: Kkkkkkkkkirannn (I NEED to stop doing that!) I just got charged Rs. 1,500 from you guys. I thought my loan was due in 30 days – like all other loans. What’s going on boo?
Kiran: Oh my bad, guess you should have read the 500 pages which you signed – essentially a payday loan is different – our term limit is not 30 days but 20 days – i.e. you gotta pay up your loan in 20 days OR else, we will charge you a fee to renew your loan and extend the loan out
Rahul: hold up, you are telling me, this Rs. 1,500 charge I got is not even to repay the loan?! It’s just a fee to renew the loan for the next term of 20 days?
Kiran: Yup, that’s exactly right and exactly what I said – unless you like to repeat things people say!
Rahul: Ffffffiiishhhh my money doesn’t come in for another 20 days, how much will I have to pay you by then?
Kiran: Well, let’s see, the interest on the loan is 1% per day (yeah you really should have read the documents) and from the time you got the loan till you pay up, it would be been 40 days so that comes to:
- Principal: Rs. 10,000
- Interest: Rs. 4,000
- Fees: Rs. 3,000
- Total spent to stop Simran’s wedding: Rs. 17,000 (when in reality it should have cost him Rs.10,000)
- Satisfaction of being with Simran: Priceless?!
So what is the moral of this?
I know we sound like your parents/ grandparents when we say this but always stay within your means - don’t ever sign up for a PayDay loan unless there is an absolute emergency – like a surgery or something related to hospitals. Many folks take payday loans to finance a vacation or buy sh*t they don’t need.
And if you ever end up taking a PayDay loan, please please please make sure to read ALL the terms and conditions and get all questions answered. At least you will be mentally prepared
If you are interested in all the research around Payday loans, read this super interesting research here
April 13th: Why ireland plays a key role in successful brexit
Quick background: Northern Ireland is part of the UK & shares a border with Ireland (part of the EU). For decades, there has been violence between Northern Ireland and Ireland – especially around their border. Because few groups in Northern Ireland want to be part of Ireland while few groups don't want to be part of it. It's all centered around religion - Catholicism (who want to reunite with Ireland) and Protestants who want Northern Ireland to remain with UK. UK obviously wants Northern Ireland to stay with them.
Hmmm okay so what are the UK's options:
May's Deal: Half BREXIT half not - It keeps the UK tied to EU's trade rules until they figure out what to do about Northern Ireland. Lawmakers rejected it... 8 times! Even though May said she will step down if lawmakers approve her plan! Since they cannot come to a conclusion, it has triggered ....
... a NO-DEAL BREXIT - which means the UK will be leaving the EU without any plan of action. A lot of them are worried that it will lead to chaos from travel to trade. Most of UK wants to avoid this so they have been....
...Hitting the SNOOZE button - what does this mean? The EU has agreed to push the deadline out till April 12th for UK to figure it's stuff out with the FINAL date being May 22nd when the UK HAS to leave the EU. If the UK doesn't figure anything out till then, then there is 100% guarantee of chaos across all of UK
Interesting, given that not a lot of people are voting down on Theresa May's plans, can they just revote to stay in EU?!
Almost a million people marched the streets last weekend to force their government to revote. In the past, the UK lawmakers have declined to do a revote but given how things are it might be on the cards
The date to watch out for this is 22nd May - to see what exactly will happen with UK, EU and the rest of the world! Don't worry, we will keep it covered for you!
Hmmm okay so what are the UK's options:
May's Deal: Half BREXIT half not - It keeps the UK tied to EU's trade rules until they figure out what to do about Northern Ireland. Lawmakers rejected it... 8 times! Even though May said she will step down if lawmakers approve her plan! Since they cannot come to a conclusion, it has triggered ....
... a NO-DEAL BREXIT - which means the UK will be leaving the EU without any plan of action. A lot of them are worried that it will lead to chaos from travel to trade. Most of UK wants to avoid this so they have been....
...Hitting the SNOOZE button - what does this mean? The EU has agreed to push the deadline out till April 12th for UK to figure it's stuff out with the FINAL date being May 22nd when the UK HAS to leave the EU. If the UK doesn't figure anything out till then, then there is 100% guarantee of chaos across all of UK
Interesting, given that not a lot of people are voting down on Theresa May's plans, can they just revote to stay in EU?!
Almost a million people marched the streets last weekend to force their government to revote. In the past, the UK lawmakers have declined to do a revote but given how things are it might be on the cards
The date to watch out for this is 22nd May - to see what exactly will happen with UK, EU and the rest of the world! Don't worry, we will keep it covered for you!
April 12th: Brexit explained
Little bit of background information:
In the 1950s, Europe wanted to make sure World War 2 never happened again and so a few countries got together to build closer economic and political ties to maintain peace and economic stability in the region. This group was called the European Economic Community - since that's not a fun name, they started calling themselves EU. It has 28 countries with UK joining the EU gang in 1970.
What does it mean to be part of EU?
Well they all belong to a single market i.e. they can buy and sell goods to each other without getting customs involved, they can travel in and out of the countries without visas and they also look out for one another when it comes to security issues - like co-ordinating international arrests (unfortunately they have been unsuccessful in catching 1 person - DON - kyun ki Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai - LAST PJ WE PROMISE!)
Sounds very rosy, problem kya hai ?!
Well, UK - lately, there has been a growing push within UK to leave EU. WHY? Immigration. You see after the Soviet Union fell apart in the early ‘90s, a bunch of Eastern European countries started joining the EU. People there started moving to the UK and other wealthy EU countries and thus increasing the competition for low-paying jobs in UK - this is something that a lot of working-class UK citizens are not happy about!
Things took a sharp turn in 2013 when the PM - David Cameron, became very irritated by people pressuring him to leave UK. So he basically said - if you vote for me in the re-elections, I will call for a people's vote to decide if we should stay in EU or not. Anyway, long story short, he got re-elected and then, in 2015, asked people to vote if they wanted to stay in EU or not i.e. BREXIT - Britain's Exit
And what did the people decide?
This was literally the biggest LOL the world has ever seen - 52% of UK citizens voted FOR BREXIT but what is WORSE is that a Google report showed that most people didn't even know what they were voting for and were actually googling "What is Brexit" after casting their votes!! *insert facepalm* Also, cannot believe this is the type of folks who ruled us for ~200 years!
WOW! Okay so what’s happening now?
Well PM Cameron resigned because he was (and is) still against Brexit, and a new PM Theresa May took over to deal with the fallout. The EU told UK to pack up it's bags and leave EU by 12th April, 2019. May's job is to figure out what exactly to pack in the UK bags for a clean exit from EU.
This is way too much of high blood pressure for me - is UK packed already or will it be kicked out on 12th April?
Well, almost there but there is a MAJOR thorn in a successful UK exit from EU and it goes by the name of IRELAND! Unless and until UK figures out the Ireland situation, they wont be able to leave EU in a clean manner.
Bas kar Nandoo, tell me the Ireland suspense already!
Yeh episode cover hoga kal - Log back in and we will tell you exactly what the Ireland issue is and why PM Theresa May will lose her job over it
In the 1950s, Europe wanted to make sure World War 2 never happened again and so a few countries got together to build closer economic and political ties to maintain peace and economic stability in the region. This group was called the European Economic Community - since that's not a fun name, they started calling themselves EU. It has 28 countries with UK joining the EU gang in 1970.
What does it mean to be part of EU?
Well they all belong to a single market i.e. they can buy and sell goods to each other without getting customs involved, they can travel in and out of the countries without visas and they also look out for one another when it comes to security issues - like co-ordinating international arrests (unfortunately they have been unsuccessful in catching 1 person - DON - kyun ki Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai - LAST PJ WE PROMISE!)
Sounds very rosy, problem kya hai ?!
Well, UK - lately, there has been a growing push within UK to leave EU. WHY? Immigration. You see after the Soviet Union fell apart in the early ‘90s, a bunch of Eastern European countries started joining the EU. People there started moving to the UK and other wealthy EU countries and thus increasing the competition for low-paying jobs in UK - this is something that a lot of working-class UK citizens are not happy about!
Things took a sharp turn in 2013 when the PM - David Cameron, became very irritated by people pressuring him to leave UK. So he basically said - if you vote for me in the re-elections, I will call for a people's vote to decide if we should stay in EU or not. Anyway, long story short, he got re-elected and then, in 2015, asked people to vote if they wanted to stay in EU or not i.e. BREXIT - Britain's Exit
And what did the people decide?
This was literally the biggest LOL the world has ever seen - 52% of UK citizens voted FOR BREXIT but what is WORSE is that a Google report showed that most people didn't even know what they were voting for and were actually googling "What is Brexit" after casting their votes!! *insert facepalm* Also, cannot believe this is the type of folks who ruled us for ~200 years!
WOW! Okay so what’s happening now?
Well PM Cameron resigned because he was (and is) still against Brexit, and a new PM Theresa May took over to deal with the fallout. The EU told UK to pack up it's bags and leave EU by 12th April, 2019. May's job is to figure out what exactly to pack in the UK bags for a clean exit from EU.
This is way too much of high blood pressure for me - is UK packed already or will it be kicked out on 12th April?
Well, almost there but there is a MAJOR thorn in a successful UK exit from EU and it goes by the name of IRELAND! Unless and until UK figures out the Ireland situation, they wont be able to leave EU in a clean manner.
Bas kar Nandoo, tell me the Ireland suspense already!
Yeh episode cover hoga kal - Log back in and we will tell you exactly what the Ireland issue is and why PM Theresa May will lose her job over it
April 11th: The biggest elections of the world explained
Hint- it is the country you are living in!
Before we go into this hot topic– let us set the stage first – we will not be advocating who or which party to vote for. We will however, be advocating that you go out and vote - voting is a citizen’s civic responsibility and is also your opportunity to make your voice heard. Patriots have fought and died so that we can have the right to vote and so just make sure you vote!
Okay now that we are done giving you this emotional atyachaar (we will be repeating this closer to voting dates!)
We wanted to go into the details of the world’s biggest general elections ever!
A fun stat: 90 crore Indians have registered to vote, this size is same as:
Great, but why are the elections taking place over 39 days vs. getting it over in one day?
Given 90 crore people will be voting, security is the most important factor. And so, te reason for phased elections is only one – to prevent loss of lives. Confused? Well, we do have a history of pre-poll and poll day violence (if not in the cities, definitely in the villages & rural parts) and by keeping the elections phased, the country can move the military resources in an efficient manner without causing any blood-shed.
Fineeeee, but then why hold them from April 11th – May 23rd? This kinda/sorta ruins my summer vacay plans!
Well, you do remember we are predominantly an agricultural economy, right? (sorry Techies, you are not that important!) Most of our population is involved in some form of agricultural activity and since one of the biggest mandates for election is to make it accessible for as many people as possible, April – May is the only time frame that works. WHY?
Remember in school, we had to learn/ mug up about Kharif and Rabi seasons?! To recap,:
Wow Nandoo – you are just soooo good and amazing and mind-blowingly great and clearly the most superior being!
Jeeeeee thanks! You make us blush …also tell us something we don’t know!
Before we go into this hot topic– let us set the stage first – we will not be advocating who or which party to vote for. We will however, be advocating that you go out and vote - voting is a citizen’s civic responsibility and is also your opportunity to make your voice heard. Patriots have fought and died so that we can have the right to vote and so just make sure you vote!
Okay now that we are done giving you this emotional atyachaar (we will be repeating this closer to voting dates!)
We wanted to go into the details of the world’s biggest general elections ever!
A fun stat: 90 crore Indians have registered to vote, this size is same as:
- 150 times the size of Norway’s total population
- Total number of people with iPhones on Earth
- Net worth of Kylie Jenner, if every one of these registered voters were given $1 (don’t worry, we just slapped ourselves for making a Kardashian reference!)
Great, but why are the elections taking place over 39 days vs. getting it over in one day?
Given 90 crore people will be voting, security is the most important factor. And so, te reason for phased elections is only one – to prevent loss of lives. Confused? Well, we do have a history of pre-poll and poll day violence (if not in the cities, definitely in the villages & rural parts) and by keeping the elections phased, the country can move the military resources in an efficient manner without causing any blood-shed.
Fineeeee, but then why hold them from April 11th – May 23rd? This kinda/sorta ruins my summer vacay plans!
Well, you do remember we are predominantly an agricultural economy, right? (sorry Techies, you are not that important!) Most of our population is involved in some form of agricultural activity and since one of the biggest mandates for election is to make it accessible for as many people as possible, April – May is the only time frame that works. WHY?
Remember in school, we had to learn/ mug up about Kharif and Rabi seasons?! To recap,:
- In the Kharif season, farmers are sowing seeds from end of May to July and harvesting from Sept. to Oct
- In Rabi system, they are sowing from Oct. to Dec. while harvesting from Feb. to mid-April (please don’t ask us what crops are grown in either of those seasons – our mugging skills were not that strong!)
- This leaves only mid- April to mid-May as the most idle time to hold the elections & get the biggest turnout possible
Wow Nandoo – you are just soooo good and amazing and mind-blowingly great and clearly the most superior being!
Jeeeeee thanks! You make us blush …also tell us something we don’t know!
April 10th: How Somalian pirates make money
When we say “pirates”
Make sure you erase all images of Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan in bad wigs trying to dance to Suraiyya. If you cannot erase these images, please email us ASAP to get our chashmawalla uncle’s whatsapp number (he was very nice & gave us our money back for the soda glasses used for the BING article!)
Somalian pirates run one of the most organized networks in the world consisting of a stock market, chain of command, experienced negotiators AND see a profit margin of over 30% (take that Apple!)
“Soooo obviously I know everything about Somalia but my idiotic brother doesn’t, can you give a refresher for him?”
Of course! Oh & we ourselves didn’t know much about Somalia before this article, so no shame if your “brother” doesn’t know too. Okay so Somalia is one of the toughest places to live on earth – they have a civil war going on for nearly 3 decades now, they are suffering from drought (water shortage), famine (food shortage) and despite having the longest coastline in Africa, cannot fish because all of their water has been polluted due to foreign companies illegally dumping their toxic waste in their waters.
This leaves only one option – pirating (arrghhhh…)
An average ransom for pirating a ship gets them anywhere from $2.7M to $6M. But to get the ransom, there is a lot of thinking involved:
Why don’t these ships just get expensive body guards on the ship for protection:
Because ALL of these ships have something called as Kidnapping & Ransom insurance – which means, if ever anything like this happens, they will get most of their money back from the insurance company. There is always a chance of the on-ship bodyguards failing to fight the pirates back but there is always the guarantee that the insurance company will pay back.
Make sure you erase all images of Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan in bad wigs trying to dance to Suraiyya. If you cannot erase these images, please email us ASAP to get our chashmawalla uncle’s whatsapp number (he was very nice & gave us our money back for the soda glasses used for the BING article!)
Somalian pirates run one of the most organized networks in the world consisting of a stock market, chain of command, experienced negotiators AND see a profit margin of over 30% (take that Apple!)
“Soooo obviously I know everything about Somalia but my idiotic brother doesn’t, can you give a refresher for him?”
Of course! Oh & we ourselves didn’t know much about Somalia before this article, so no shame if your “brother” doesn’t know too. Okay so Somalia is one of the toughest places to live on earth – they have a civil war going on for nearly 3 decades now, they are suffering from drought (water shortage), famine (food shortage) and despite having the longest coastline in Africa, cannot fish because all of their water has been polluted due to foreign companies illegally dumping their toxic waste in their waters.
This leaves only one option – pirating (arrghhhh…)
An average ransom for pirating a ship gets them anywhere from $2.7M to $6M. But to get the ransom, there is a lot of thinking involved:
- Identify the target: The ideal victim for Somalian pirates is a ship coming from a rich country, moving slowly and expected to pass African coast (which is most ships originating from US or Europe). The objective of the attack is not the goods of the Ship – it is actually the crew. The Somalian pirates are known to never touch the oil, shipments, etc. on the ship BUT always go for the crew because they know that the crew is the most important asset for the shipping company.
- Financing: A single attack costs around $30,000 or Rs.21 lakhs upfront. This is a HUGE amount for Somalians so they reach out to wealthy individuals through their informal stock market for financing. (obviously a bank is NOT going to give them a loan for this. Also, side note – imagine telling the bank teller why you can’t give your Aadhar number to them for the said loan!)
- Attack: Somalians generally have 2 medium size boats with 8-10 people/ boat and they start following the large ship. Of course, the ship will try to steer coast and fight back but the Somalians have AK-47s with them, so there is no match. Once they get on the main ship, first thing the pirates do is cut the communication and take the ship to the nearest port. Once there, the negotiations begin which take LONG – In general, the negotiations take anywhere from 300 – 500 days with every passing day, the value of crew going up.
- Final Result: the shipping company would never leave their crew behind (imagine the press if people found out that this company let their crew die by Somalian pirates. No one would want to work for them AND they would go out of business!) Once negotiations are done, money is delivered via a helicopter in a water proof case and the pirates leave the ship.
- Original Investors: roughly 30% of this loot goes to them
- Port: that allowed the pirates to dock the ship: they get 10% for looking the other way & not reporting the pirates
- Rest to the Pirates: the rest of the 60% stays with them and is spread evenly among all.
Why don’t these ships just get expensive body guards on the ship for protection:
Because ALL of these ships have something called as Kidnapping & Ransom insurance – which means, if ever anything like this happens, they will get most of their money back from the insurance company. There is always a chance of the on-ship bodyguards failing to fight the pirates back but there is always the guarantee that the insurance company will pay back.
April 9th: How Bing is actually not a failure for microsoft
Here is something that you have probably never heard anyone say
“Great question, why don’t you BING it?!”
PS: if you know someone who has said this, please call the helpline 1-800-SAVE-MY-FRIEND because clearly they are going through something traumatic to be using BING
Microsoft launched BING in 2009 to compete against Google.
They spent millions and millions of dollars in redesigns, even paid people to use it but still never found a concrete base to compete against Google. So why not just kill the service all together? Well, because Bing actually makes money for Microsoft and by money we mean $5 BILLION/ year! Oh and it is profitable!
We know what you are thinking
It’s time to go to the chashmawalla and get my eyes checked because clearly I am reading all wrong. That’s what we thought too! And after buying 3 different soda glasses, the answer is still the same – 23% of the world (and 7% of Indians) use BING for their search!
But WHY?
One simple reason: Laziness
Bottom line:
Next time you think you are a Google – user, look around the room to see if you have any Alexas because guess what, you just became a Bing-er! Anyway, if you could please excuse us – we have to go back to the chashmawalla uncle & convince him to take back these soda glasses.
“Great question, why don’t you BING it?!”
PS: if you know someone who has said this, please call the helpline 1-800-SAVE-MY-FRIEND because clearly they are going through something traumatic to be using BING
Microsoft launched BING in 2009 to compete against Google.
They spent millions and millions of dollars in redesigns, even paid people to use it but still never found a concrete base to compete against Google. So why not just kill the service all together? Well, because Bing actually makes money for Microsoft and by money we mean $5 BILLION/ year! Oh and it is profitable!
We know what you are thinking
It’s time to go to the chashmawalla and get my eyes checked because clearly I am reading all wrong. That’s what we thought too! And after buying 3 different soda glasses, the answer is still the same – 23% of the world (and 7% of Indians) use BING for their search!
But WHY?
One simple reason: Laziness
- Power of Defaults: 82% of the world’s computers use Windows which is obviously not that surprising. But with this, comes the default settings – i.e. Microsoft makes BING the default search option when you browse the internet on your PC. Most people do not care enough to change their default settings OR do not know how to change it, thus making BING their de facto search engine.
- Smart Devices: Amazon’s Alexa Devices – Echo, Echo Dot, Echo button, all use BING for their search. So when you say “Alexa, what is today’s weather?” Alexa is actually bing-ing it! WHY you ask? For one simple reason – the Enemy of my Enemy is my Dost! Google & Microsoft are clearly not friends and given Amazon is competing with Google in shopping & home devices, Amazon would rather leave its search queries with Bing than feed it to Google and make Google stronger. Till date, 100 million Alexa devices have been sold which means a gazillion more BING searches enabled, making BING hot for advertisers to market on.
Bottom line:
Next time you think you are a Google – user, look around the room to see if you have any Alexas because guess what, you just became a Bing-er! Anyway, if you could please excuse us – we have to go back to the chashmawalla uncle & convince him to take back these soda glasses.
April 8th: The Race to control your internet
Please Note: while reading this, we STRONGLY urge you play the background music of RACE the movie (yup the one with Saif, Bips & Kat) for additional dramatic effect!
Okay back to the story
The East (China) & West (USA) are in a bitter war to control the World’s internet and whoever gets to implement 5G will be the leading contender for the next 50 years at least.
Back up, 5G what?! Nandoo, we JUST got 4G!!!
Yes 5G as in # 5 & G maane Genius (sorry last PJ!) 5G means extremely fast download speeds & network response times that’ll make us feel like we’re living that Jetsons life. Think: autonomous cars communicating in real time on the road, doctors performing surgery remotely. Developing 5G is something all countries have put at the top of their to-do lists.
Autonomous cars?! Have you seen the state of our traffic?!
Precisely! With autonomous cars, imagine no traffic because thanks to a 5G connection, your car will be able to communicate with all the other driverless cars on the road and will be able to self- manage the traffic.
How is this different from 4G again?
Each new generation of wireless tech has been stronger, better, faster. 3G meant your phone was finally connected to the internet. 4G meant streaming Netflix whenever, wherever. 5G could be up to 100 times faster than 4G!
Okay so why are East & West fighting? This sounds like a good thing for everyone, right?
5G is a physical network of switches and routers. But it is more reliant on layers of complex software that are far more adaptable, and constantly updating, in ways invisible to users — similar to how your phone automatically updates when a new version of Android is out. That means whoever controls the 5G network, controls the information flow — and may be able to change, reroute or copy data without users’ knowledge.
So who is winning?
China currently has a lead over building the 5G network & has been pitching to a LOT of countries (e.g. Canada, Germany, UK) to help them build their 5G network. US, on the other hand, has been pushing back aggressively saying that if China ends up building the network for these countries, there is a strong chance that China will use all this information flow to spy on the governments of these countries. Given US counts Canada, Germany, UK as allies, it has been successful in pushing China from building these countries’ 5G networks…FOR NOW, but only time will tell who ends up winning this race!
Okay back to the story
The East (China) & West (USA) are in a bitter war to control the World’s internet and whoever gets to implement 5G will be the leading contender for the next 50 years at least.
Back up, 5G what?! Nandoo, we JUST got 4G!!!
Yes 5G as in # 5 & G maane Genius (sorry last PJ!) 5G means extremely fast download speeds & network response times that’ll make us feel like we’re living that Jetsons life. Think: autonomous cars communicating in real time on the road, doctors performing surgery remotely. Developing 5G is something all countries have put at the top of their to-do lists.
Autonomous cars?! Have you seen the state of our traffic?!
Precisely! With autonomous cars, imagine no traffic because thanks to a 5G connection, your car will be able to communicate with all the other driverless cars on the road and will be able to self- manage the traffic.
How is this different from 4G again?
Each new generation of wireless tech has been stronger, better, faster. 3G meant your phone was finally connected to the internet. 4G meant streaming Netflix whenever, wherever. 5G could be up to 100 times faster than 4G!
Okay so why are East & West fighting? This sounds like a good thing for everyone, right?
5G is a physical network of switches and routers. But it is more reliant on layers of complex software that are far more adaptable, and constantly updating, in ways invisible to users — similar to how your phone automatically updates when a new version of Android is out. That means whoever controls the 5G network, controls the information flow — and may be able to change, reroute or copy data without users’ knowledge.
So who is winning?
China currently has a lead over building the 5G network & has been pitching to a LOT of countries (e.g. Canada, Germany, UK) to help them build their 5G network. US, on the other hand, has been pushing back aggressively saying that if China ends up building the network for these countries, there is a strong chance that China will use all this information flow to spy on the governments of these countries. Given US counts Canada, Germany, UK as allies, it has been successful in pushing China from building these countries’ 5G networks…FOR NOW, but only time will tell who ends up winning this race!