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By this point, you must have figured out that no one pays attention to meetings. Your goal is to be excellent at not paying attention by looking extra invested into the meeting. So what can you do other than all the other tricks listed - pull out a red pen and start circling/ cancelling random texts in the physical copy of the presentation in front of you.
You could be checking the ink of your pen, for all anyone knows, but by circling or marking with a red pen, you create the illusion that you actually deeply care about what is being presented and want to make it further better. YOU ARE WELCOME! Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry The fundamentals of attending a meeting (even if you don't want to) is to act as if you are listening and paying attention. However, if you are one of those ballsy ones and want to see how far you can get away with this charade, then lean back & stare at the ceiling.
WHY? Because no one expects anyone to do that in a meeting UNLESS they are in deep thought, absorbing every word that is being spoken and thinking about an idea. This my friends, is the most golden life hack - if you master this, all your future meetings will be a breeze! Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry The trick to looking super smart in a meeting is to appear as if you are a visionary. And nothing screams visionary than a person writing super fluffy/ stand-alone meaningless words on the whiteboard. The fluffier the words, the better a visionary you are - think "Vision" "Mission" "Cloud" "Efficiency" "Big Data" "Localization" ... you get the drift. Doesn't even matter that you are sitting in the meeting to talk about your social media campaign, go ahead and write down "Crypto" on the whiteboard and take a seat. People will think they are too dumb to even ask you how Cryptos connect with IG Stories but eh a visionary gotta do, what a visionary gotta do!
Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry Anytime, anyone mentions any metrics/numbers/stats - just repeat it with a 'Oh wow'. For example:
Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry Next time you are in a meeting and the presenter asks "Any questions" ask them to pull up slide #2 - you clearly don't know what's on slide 2, the audience DEFINITELY does not know what was on slide #2 and chances are the presenter ALSO does not know what was on slide #2. But given how specific you are with going back to slide #2, you WILL make everyone think that you have been astutely following the presentation.
We know, we know what you are thinking "But, I really do not know what was on slide #2" fear not - just read the title of the slide out loud and ask the presenter "Could you further elaborate how this fits with the vision?" BOOM expect that raise & salary bump in the next quarter! Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry How to look hoshiaar in meetings #1103: Always mention "Are we looking at the big picture?"10/16/2018 Ever been in one of those meetings where no one - including the presenter, has no clue what the topic is and more importantly, WHY the meeting has been scheduled in the first place? Yeah, we thought so too. The thing that is most irritating about these meetings is that, everyone knows it's pointless, but the big boss is right there - fully immersed & ready to take on the world, which makes it extra hard for you to walk away. Fear not, here's another gem - anytime you feel everyone has spoken and you are the only one who hasn't, just ask "Are we looking at the big picture ?" No one knows what the fraak does it mean but no one is going to argue against a "big picture"! Congratulations my friend, you just earned yourself the 'Visionary' tag from your boss!
Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for all the walks you take and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry How to look hoshiaar in meetings #1032: Nod & say "exactly" every time the Developer talks10/16/2018 Doesn't matter if the Devs are talking about changing the entire codebase from Java to Ruby on Rails. Also doesn't matter that you think one is a form of coffee while the other is literally "rubies on rails" - all you gotta do is nod your head and shout "EXACTLY" multiple times. Add in a little something special by throwing your hands in the air while saying EXACTLY and Voila! you have a perfect setup to make literally everyone believe that you are the most passionate non-technical developer they have ever met. Continue doing this and you might soon get that CTO role you never wanted!
Alternatively, you could download the Nandoo app and get rewarded for walking and tell your team members how hoshiaar you actually are for getting rained in dope rewards just for walking! #shamelessplug #sorrynotsorry |